This was probably the hardest good-bye I’ve done on the Race so far. We arrived for lunch at the girls’ home on New Year’s Eve, and were given a special going-away meal of sweet potato, a baked potato, baked chicken, and veggies. After eating, some of the girls spoke to us and thanked us for spending the month with them. They said how much it meant to them, and that our team provided a great example of what life with the Lord could look like and they were inspired by us to continue their personal journeys of change. They also gave each of us sweet handwritten notes.
In the afternoon, we helped cook a special dinner (Salchipapa, which is french fries with sliced hot dogs) and just hung out with the girls.
Then our ministry host, Finike, came to the house and translated while Averi, Meg, and Rachel shared their testimonies with the girls. Then the girls were asked to share something beautiful that happened to them this year. One that really stuck out to me was when one of them, Melanie, shared that the Lord helped her forgive her mom this year, and they are now rebuilding their relationship, which means a lot to her because she doesn’t have very much family left.
After dinner, Averi thanked the girls and told them how much we love them, and presented our gift of playing cards (I had been bringing my deck of cards most days, and they loved playing!) while I translated. And then a couple more of them shared what our team meant to them.
Throughout the day, I was not excited about the prospect of leaving them, but I didn’t think it would be that difficult, either.
Then, after sharing, we started our good-byes and I just lost it. One of the girls, Mishel, was seated next to me so I jugged her first and began crying. Then I told her I hope God would become a bigger part of her life and she was crying as well, and we hugged again. Maria Fernanda was another particularly tough good-bye, as were Heidi, Noami and Ana.
Although that night was really difficult for me, I felt like it was also a huge blessing.
First, God showed me the bonds that He can forge between people in even as little as one month, despite a language barrier. I’ve never been a part of something quite like that. And for me, it was a confirmation that God is working in so many ways that I can’t see while it’s happening, and that I really did make an impact in those girls’ lives and they impacted mine, even though there were a lot of moments where I had my doubts.
I also think God answered a prayer of mine. I often see people feeling great joy or great sorrow, and I don’t think I feel those things as deeply as others do. I had prayed that I would feel things on a deeper level, to experience more depth of joy and love, even though that also meant deeper pain and sorrow. That night, I definitely felt the latter. I had a really hard time saying good-bye to the girls. I legitimately cried for the first time in a long time, and the first time on the Race. That confirms for me that I really allowed myself to become attached to and invested in this ministry even though I knew I would be there only a short time, and that’s exactly how I want to live on the World Race and after. That’s what living for the Lord should look like. It gives me hope because I’m beginning to notice changes like that in myself, and I look forward to what’s to come– in moments of unspeakable joy, and in the painful moments like tonight, I know God is growing me, using me to share His love, and changing me to become more like Him.
